When I sat down yesterday to try and write my blog post, I had a certain individual come into my shop to ‘give me constructive feedback’ (it felt like bullying and harassment to me) for at least 10 minutes about everything I’m doing wrong with my roastery and café. This is not the first time this individual has done this. It is also something that is reminiscent of my last ‘real job’. Their reasoning is that they want me to succeed, and their way of doing this is the ‘right’ way.
I am very upfront about being ADHD and Autistic. This means that I end up having to do things a certain way. I also allow my employees to do things the way they have to do them, as long as the end result is the same. The fact that we are all different is a fundamental part of my business. Unless we are talking about nuclear power, there is no one right way to do something, and even then, there are variances.
Due to this individual stopping by, I ended up with a full-blown anxiety attack that lasted the rest of the day. I was unable to fulfill my other obligations and caused me to forget items on my shopping list for the cafe. I also struggled to help customers and would have closed the shop up for the day if I didn’t have such a strong sense of commitment to my customers.
I’m not telling this story to make this call out this individual or make them look bad. I’m also not looking for sympathy. This is just one example of what someone with ADHD and Autism goes through on a regular basis.
My particular brand of AuDHD is great at pattern recognition, troubleshooting, and problem solving. It is also highly empathetic, causes frequent info dumps to random people, is time blind, and has a rigid adherence to most rules. This makes me excel in many parts of running a business. It also causes many issues.
I know I’m not alone with my struggles. I also know that these struggles are not limited to AuDHD people. This single incident is also one of the key reasons I want to build my roasting business. There are people out there that WANT to work, but because their brand of ADHD/Autism/PTSD/etc makes putting up with what I went through yesterday impossible for them.
Not everyone can handle a belligerent customer or customers at all, and if Galaxy Girl Coffee can take that off their plate so they can be productive and feel fulfilled, then that’s what we want to do. Everyone deserves respect, courtesy, and to feel like a valued member of society. That is our focus.
Being AuDHD is hard. I wouldn’t change that about myself for any reason though.
So sorry that happened to you. What is double frustrating is that while this items may have been “popular” when they ran the café, they still weren’t able to keep it open. Do what works for you. If they wants to try and “mandate” what you do, they can contribute financially to the business or butt out. Those of us who go there appreciate all the work you put into the business.